Mirror Shards
by Morning Lace
Summary: Trapped within, to face my truth. Can I ever forgive myself?
1. prolouge

Ok, so Hi. This is my **first** fanfic. I hope you all enjoy it. I about drove myself crazy checking & rechecking spelling, the way to say things,... ugh... --;; but here it is. Finally.

**DISCLAIMER:** ya'll know i dont own Kingdom hearts, the characters or the places etc.

* * *

Mirror Shards 

Mirror shards, cut into my heart.

Mirror shards, make it bleed.

Mirror shards: unbury my lie.

* * *

The door beyond Kingdom Hearts. 

It is dark; shadowy.

It only stands to reason that the heartless would thrive there.

Perhaps it is where they are created; 'born'.

Like ants under a rock. A writhing, wriggling mass when exposed...

Yet a human, a teen-age boy, is in this darkness.

Ever trying to escape, but never knowing an end to the darkness.

Riku

And the heartless followed.

Always, they crept in the shadows. Always following where he wandered.

waiting.

Then attacking furiously, a flood of heartless.

They kept coming, coming, untill he was almost worn down, defeated.

Then they retreated for a while. Maybe an hour, maybe more. Giving Riku time to slow his heartbeat, to calm down, focus.

rest

But he could never really rest. Not with them hanging around, creeping in the shadows.

waiting for him.

Then one would grow bold and dart out, hoping to catch him off guard. To be the one to defeat him.

They wouldn't defeat him. He couldn't let them.

Why? why why why?

Were they teasing him? baiting him?

of course. of course they were.

They were trying to force him to make a rash move. It was such maddness.

Always wandering, always fighting...how long had this gone on?

Months?

Years?

It didn't matter.

Was he going crazy?

It sure felt like it.

Riku was so tired of it all. So tired...

He wanted to be free. To rest. anywhere.

How long...?

"How much more can I take...?" Riku whispered.

He looked for the moon.

A glimmer. A star...any point of light.

There were none.

Riku never knew were he was going.

So dark.

The heartless had a shadowy aura wafting around them. He could tell when they were approaching. Their aura always gave them away.

And their eyes.

Glowing, golden-yellow eyes.

And he could see himself. He too, had an aura about him.

Why? He wasn't a heartless too, was he? No, he couldn't be. Otherwise, why would the heartless attack him?

no end. There was no end to this blackness. Nothing ever got in his way.

No trees, no grass,... no nothing.

And no sound; save for the scurrings of the heartless.

So this is what is behind Kingdom hearts.

Nothingness.

A movement from the left. Apparently the heartless were growing restless again.

"About time." Riku smirked.

He tried to put a bold face on; they could never beat him!

But he knew.

There was no escape.

He was so worn down.

So tired.

The heartless knew it too.

* * *

Me: Da Da Da Duuuummmm... 

Riku: -rolls eyes-

Me: I took this fic down so I could correct the sad, pathetic word usage. And to make it look better, easier to read. I will put the other chaps up when I get reviews.


	2. Glistening Claws

**Disclaime**r:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

A large heartless attacked from the rear, hissing.

"NO!" Riku swung around, cleaving the heartless in two.

The heartless in the shadows surged around him, challenging him.

_'so tired'_ Riku shook his head.

A heartless lunged.

_'I can't let them...'_

Dodge

_'...win. I can't...'_

Thrust

_'...lose'_

_**'why not? why can't I lose?'**_

Duck

_'I...I can't...'_

_**'why? do I enjoy this...this nightmare?'**_

Slash

_'NO! no I hate it!'_

_**'then why?'**_

Roll

_'why can't I lose?'_

_**'because if I lose...'**_

Jump

_'I would die, then they would have my heart.'_

_**'so?'**_

_'SO! they would control me again!'_

Dodge

_**'so? I would be able to sleep...peace...rest... '**_

"Gaaahh..."

A small heartless had clung to his cloak, crawled up, and was gouging away at his chest while he was struggling with his exaustion.

'minnneee...'

His will to live took over.

"NO!"

Riku tore the heartless from his chest and slashed it in half.

"no..."

the pain...

the exaustion...

the sheer madness!

A puddle of blood was forming at his feet.

Another heartless was tearing at his leg. He kicked it back into the mob.

His chest was beginning to throb with increasing intensity, slowing him. His leg was hurting too, but nowhere near as bad as his chest. The front of his cloak was in crimson shreads.

Pain. Overwhelming pain.

In all this time, never had a heartless wounded him this bad. It had been such a small one too. How could it do so much damage with just one attack!

Well, he'd never had a heartless attack his chest so directly. His heart.

"They must be tired of 'playing'."Riku mumbled with a pained smile.

Another on his back, digging away.

"Gaahh..."

_'..they must be trying to get to my heart...by digging through my back...'_ Riku thought in a foggy haze

He tore it off as he fell to his knees.

"no...I have to get back up..."

Another jumped on as he slumped to the ground.

"..once you're down..."

Another. They swarmed him like flies.

"you don't..."

A heartless stood on Riku's back as he lay stretched out on the ground of blackness.

"...get back.."

The heartless raised its glistening claws, and plunged them...

"..up.."

...into Riku's back.

"..uhhh..."

* * *

Riku: ouchies... T.T

Me: awww... It'll be okay .

Riku: -glare-


	3. The world inside

**Disclaimer**: I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

Riku lay in an ever-growing puddle of blood. 

The heartless on his back thrust its razor sharp claws deep into Riku's back, searching for his heart. Just as it grasped his heart, a blinding light exploded, emerging from the gaping hole in his back.

The heartless shreiked, then dissolved.

Riku cracked an aqua-green eye.

"w..what...happened...?"

Then he slipped into uncousiousness.

c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c

_clinging_

_cold and clinging_

Riku fought through his confusion, trying to grasp a thought to tell him what was going on, but they swam away...darting like fish.

_cold_

_cold and clinging_

_mist_

yes, this was it!

hanging onto this thought like a life line, it pulled him to the surface of his swiming mind

Riku opened his eyes. A gray, swirling, misty world greeted him.

"What! what happened to the ...the dark?"

He was no longer in the world of darkness.

"How... did I get here? did the heartless bring me?"

Riku rose to a knee, hunching over it.

"I...I heard a shreik. Did someone save me? who? And where are they? Oh!"

Riku bolted upright as he ran his hands over his body...feeling his chest, his back, and his leg as the recent memories flooded back.

"What happened to me! ... I got all chewed up... but there's nothing.. no wounds!"

"But... but I remember...! the heartless tore up my chest, swarmed me, plunged its' claws...through...uuhh..." Riku shuddered invoulentarily at the memory.

"What's going on?" he whispered hoarsely.

He looked around at his surroundings. A swirling, wafting misty world. A white sky, black ground and misty gray air between.

"..w...what is this place?"

Nothing happened. Just a swirling world.

There was nothing.

Riku wandered aimlessly.

"There arn't even any heartless. At least I can see...what there is to see that is."

Even though Riku wore a long-sleeved cloak he still felt the chill of the mist. His cloak had a hood too, but he didn't wear it. It had interfered with his vision in the ..that other place.

"What's this?"

Riku saw two small dots a little ways away. As he drew closer, he could see that one was a small black vortex in the white sky, and the other was a small white vortex on the black ground. In-between was a swirling, silver orb.

"o...kay... is this some kind of freaky ying-yang?"

"uhhh...? what's...happening?"

A tugging began from inside of his chest. He could feel the orb drawing his heart. It was as if his heart was trying to push its' way out of his body and go beyond the silver orb.

* * *

Me: hows it goin so far people? 

Riku: o.0 YOU SADISTIC CHILD!

Me:... I'm not a child. pouts

Riku: well u sure act like one!

Me: (glomp)

Riku: o.0 air... need air...

Me: It'll get better, I promise.


	4. This heart of mine

Disclaimer: I dont own Kingdom hearts or its characters.

* * *

"ungh...what...what is..this!"

Riku hunched over, clutching his chest.

No pain.

Just an incredibly wierd feeling, as if his body were a shell and his heart was trying to hatch. To be free.

Riku began to breathe heavily and fell quivering, to his knees, still clutching his chest.

On impulse, he looked at his chest. A small area on the left side, were his heart was located, was rippling like water.

"What...the crap is... going on!" Riku cried, gasping for breath.

"Have the... heartless finally found ..a way to get..my heart!"

_No. It's not the heartless. Don't worry. Don't fear._ a voice almost identical to Rikus' echoed.

"wh...who are you?" Riku gasped.

"Aahhh..."

His heart began to emerge from the rippling.

"..help..stop this..please...stop.."

His heart was gone. Out of his body. Riku gasped again and his blood went ice cold. His eyes dialated untill they were aqua-green pools

Riku breathed deep, trying to catch his breath.

So cold.

numb

The mist was nothing compared to this.

He watched his heart float in the air and rise to meet with the silver orb.

"If...I have no heart now...why am I not dead?"

Riku stood. The wierd feeling was gone, replaced by an empty void.

So empty...

A tear slipped down Rikus' face. Why? He wasn't sad, so why was he crying? Was his body responding to the loss?

As his heart touched the orb, a flash of light flooded his eyes. Riku shielded his face with his arms on impulse, then lowered them.

"It..it didn't hurt..."

A door.

A beautiful, elaborate, silver door.

His body was being drawn to it.

"Just great!" Riku protested "My heart's gone, and my body's being taken over again! All I have left is my mind. Hey! anybody want that too?" He demanded.

_No need to be angry_. a voice soothed as Riku unwillingly clasped the handle.

"Just what do you want anyway!" Riku demanded.

_...come and see, Riku._

The voice responded as he pulled the door open.

* * *

Me: (pops from behind door) hi Riku

Riku: DONT. TOUCH. ME. (freakout)


	5. Separation of Spirit

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

The door swung open and Riku was drawn in. As soon as he passed through, the door shut behind him. Then it dissolved into the mist that was flowing through the land. 

It seemed to be warmer here.

No sky. No ground. Just mist.

Riku was surrounded by it.

"Just like the darkness, only now it's mist..."

His voice sounded hollow.

Riku stood still. The mist continued to creep past.

'so peaceful, yet so erie.' he mused.

_'erie', Riku? hmmm...maybe. 'peaceful'? Yes, in it's own way, I guess._

Riku whirled around.

"Who are you! Show yourself!"

_..do you really need to see me, Riku? You know who I am..._

"Uh no, actually, I don't! Since I don't have ESP or X-ray vision, why don't you come out!"

_.. I don't need to.._

"Quit saying that line alreadyI! Show yourself, you coward" He challenged.

_...you know who I am. Deep down, you know...you know..._

A figure stood out in the mist.

Riku could make out shoulder length hair. The figure was about his height. It barely had any substance to it. The mist seemed to pass with it, as though it were part of the mist.

As it drew closer, he could see that the figures' longish hair was a pale, ghostly white color. Its' eyes were a stunning green that shot through the mist and pinned Riku to where he stood. It wore a midnight black cloak...

"You!...you're...!"

_Ha! see Riku, you do know me._ It smirked._Yes, I am you._

"But how did you..."

_I am you. I know what you're thinking._

"How can you be me?" Riku demanded. "There can only be one of me!"

_Really, now? Riku, I am your soul. Everyone has a soul. Under normal conditions, people can't see, speak with, or contact their soul in any way. They don't even know it's possible. But you, are an exeption._

Riku took a step back. His eyes narrowed. "You say you're my 'soul' huh? And why should I believe you?"

_Fine then, don't believe me._

"... well, what do you want from me?"

_Hmmm? nothing. I saved you, that's all. Don't suppose I even get a word of thanks, though._

"What? you mean you made that white light that distroyed the heartless! why? and how!"

_Heh. You're just full of questions now, arn't you? Well I couldn't just let you die._

"Why? what do I have that you want?" Riku questioned as he cocked his head.

The figure turned to one side.

_Riku, Riku..._ It shook it's head and sighed.

_How many times do I have to tell you? I want nothing. If you went and died, I too would die, because we are connected. And I don't want to go and do that._ It smirked.

Riku looked down."But...it seems that if you... my 'soul' could save me...why can't other souls save their people from dying? They don't want to die too, do they?"

_No, Riku, they don't want to die too._ It spoke to Riku as if he were a child in need of understanding.

You are stronger than most, therefore, I too, am stronger. I had the power to save us, so I did.

_What's this? The chatterbox has no more questions?_ the figure mocked.

"Shut up! I was just thinking! Don't speak to me as if I were some brat!"

_Ha! well, what were you thinking, hmmm?_

Riku gritted his teeth. "You are getting really annoying, you know that? Anyway, why do you need me to tell you what I'm thinking? you already know don't you?"

_Of course! But I still want to hear you say it. It's 'annoying' to always know everything you do._

"Yeah, I bet!" Riku shot back.

_Well, care to share?_

"It'd be nice if I could read your mind!..."

Riku was silent for a moment. "Hey, you. Soul. If I got all chewed up out there in the darkness...why ... is there nothing wrong with me here?"

The soul paused.

"What? ...what's wrong?" Riku questioned.

_...well ...Riku._ It sighed. _Do you know where you are? Really?_

"uh...noo... I guess I have to ask. Ok, so where am I?"

_...You're inside of your heart, Riku._

"Wha! how is that possible?"

_You remember when you were overcome by the heartless?_

"Yeah, don't remind me." Riku grumbled.

_And you remember the white light that distroyed the heartless?_

"um...yeah..?"

_I made that. While I distroyed the heartless, I drew you into that in-between world you woke up in._

"You mean that black, white, and grey place?"

_Yes. Then I called to your heart. I drew it to the door. The combination allowed you to enter this place. Your heart._ Its' hand swept the landscape.

_I drew you into this place so you wouldn't die. Not yet anyway. However, only your spirit is here. Your body...is still in the darkness._

* * *

Me: Welcome to this site's crappy, stupid and sappiest fic. 

Riku: -nod-

Me: I WOULD take it down, but its my very first fic. Kinda a sentimental thing. and a few ppl seem to enjoy it a lil. so, bear with me.


	6. Mist of my heart

Riku: ... Say it.

Me: what?

Riku: you know what you sadistic person!

Me: um... luff you?

Riku: NO!

Me: hee hee... just kidding.here ya go.

Disclaimer: I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me!"

_No, I'm not._ It replied soberly. _Your mind, your consciousness, ... you ... are here in your heart. Your body, however, is still out there in the darkness. You are protected for a while, here in your heart._

"One thing I don't understand though... if my 'body' is out there, how could my heart come out of me, when only my mind is here?" Riku asked. Does my 'consciousness' have a heart too?"

_Figuratively speaking, yes._

"Ha!" Riku shook his head "That's the biggest bunch of bull I ever heard! How then, could I have had that ... that weird feeling when you were calling my heart? How could I feel anything...even now?"

The figure glared at the boy.

_Don't be so narrow minded, Riku_ It warned. _You weren't harmed when you first woke up, were you?_

"...No" Riku admitted reluctantly.

_The heartless didn't harm your heart. That's why you aren't hurt now. Right now you are in your 'hearts' body.' How you look now is how you see yourself. Also, what happens to you while you're here, happens to your body out there. You can feel what is happening to you here._

"..."

The figure lowered its' head and laughed.

_Ha! well, do you need further proof that your mind is here, and your body is there?_

"Yeah, that would be nice." Riku said coldly. "If you have proof."

_Oh I do._

The figure waved its' hand. The mist followed the movement.

_Come with me._

It turned around and began walking, then paused expectantly, waiting for Riku.

He followed the soul. As they walked, the mist parted before them. Soon they approached a rectangular shape.

"What's this?" Riku asked.

_Your proof_. The soul replied as it waved a hand, bidding the mist depart from the spot.

As it slowly retreated, Riku could make out that the shape was a mirror. It reflected nothing but darkness.

"What kind of mirror is this?"

_Wait. And watch._

Riku looked again. A faint glimmer of light came from within the darkness. Then it was as if he were rapidly approaching the light. It grew bigger. It was a faint light that kept flickering. About to go out but trying to remain.

Within this faint, thin light was a boy.

He lay stretched out on the ground. He was severely wounded in many places. His silver shoulder-length hair lay disheveled.

An aqua green eye could be seen through the hair. It was narrowed, glazed in pain. His breathing was shallow and he seemed to be unconscious though his eye was open. He had a terrible gashing wound on the upper left side of his back, and his right leg was slashed to the bone.

Below him was blood seeping out in an ever-growing pool. His cloak and areas of his silver hair was stained crimson.

Riku jerked back. "but.. but that's...!"

_yes_

"that's..."

_Say it Riku. Who is that?_

"That's...me..." He whispered. He turned his face to the soul.

"but.. but how? I'm in here...but.. that's me.. that's what happened to me..."

_Yes that is you. Remember I told you? your body is in the darkness. And you are here. What makes' you, you is here._

Riku looked back at the mirror. On the outside, in the darkness, his body's faint glow lit up the heartless remains that lay around him. Other living, glowing heartless crept in the distance not daring to approach.

"But won't the heartless attack...um...me?"

_No. They don't dare. I can keep them back a while longer._

Riku's eyes darted to his soul.

"What do you mean 'a while longer!' what then! Would I die if you can't?"

_You're not the only one who would die, Riku. But don't worry_. The soul reassured mockingly._ I'll take us some where safe._

"How! and where?"

It gave a short laugh

_You let me worry about that. Now come, I need to show you some things._

* * *

Me: cool! u glow Riku! are you like those stick-thingees that you snap & shake? glow-in-the-dark?

Riku: (sweat drop) no.


	7. Reflections of the Heart

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters.

* * *

The soul turned and Riku followed, taking one last glance at his body in the darkness.

"Hey. what is that glow around my...body? And around the heartless? why is there no glow around the heartless remains?"

That 'glow' is life energy. The dead heartless have no life, obviously, so they give off nothing.

"...But...my glow... It's so faint. Does that mean I might be.. dying? "

_Unfortunately, yes Riku. But remember, you're not the only one who would die_ It chided. _Don't worry though. I'll do everything I can to keep us alive_

"Yeah, don't worry.." Riku grumbled. "Hey! what's that?"

It glanced at Riku. _It's a mirror_

"Mirror? another one?"

_Yes. your heart is full of mirrors... they are your memories..._

The soul began to fade, dissolving into the mist.

_I must leave_

"What! NO! there's still things I don't understand!"

Riku raised a hand, grasping at the mist the soul had become.

_You will learn the rest later on..._ Its' voice echoed.

"...that idiot. could've at least told me what to do with this mirror thing."

_...watch..._ a voice whispered faintly.

Riku gasped. "Man you've got to quit doing that! Hear me! Huh? "

silence

"Great. Now what do I do? Well, it said to watch, so..."

Riku faced the mirror, crossed his arms and stared at it.

nothing.

"Ha. It's just my reflection.. eww...it's turning green...and blue...oh...oh no..."

Rikus' reflection had warped and changed color. Turning into something totally different. Someplace totally different.

"It's ...Destiny Islands..." He whispered. He uncrossed his arms, covered his eyes, then slowly raised his face to the mirror.

The mirror focused on the beach. Everything was so crisp, so clear... Just as if Riku were actually there. The mirror enveloped his vision.

**"Hey Sora! What's up?"**

Rikus' voice. only younger.

A young Riku ran over to an even younger Sora.

**"Hey Riku! What 'cha wanna do today?"**

**"I found somethin'! I'll show ya!"**

Little Riku grabbed Soras' hand. **"c'mon!"**

**"Riku!"** Sora laughed. **"Just tell me what it is! then show me."**

**"No!"**

**"pleeessee..."**

**"well...ok. But I'll tell you as we go!"**

They ran off. But however fast they ran, the mirror kept up. Riku seemed to be running with them.

**"Ok, I was just pokin' around yesterday and..."**

Little Riku pushed at the base of a tree.

**"..I found a..."**

"...the..." Riku murmured .

**"...secret cave!"**

"...the secret cave..." Riku closed his eyes.

**"Now ya gotta promise not to tell anyone! 'kay? "**

**"okay!"**

Riku...these are your reflections. Your memories. A voice whispered.

"Oh, so it's you again." Riku opened his eyes, glaring.

"So why show me these? What's the use?"

silence

"Yeah, don't say anything then!"

Riku felt a presence behind him. He turned around.

Another mirror.

**"Hey Riku guess what!"**

**"What?"**

**"I found these rocks in a pool and guess what! They leave a mark when you rub 'em against stuff!"**

**"Wow!"**

**"So I was thinkin', we could take 'em to the secret cave and draw on the walls! The markings come off when you wash 'em with water!"**

**"Ok, let's go!"**

"Why?" Riku whispered. "What's the use?" Riku raised his head.

"Answer me! Why are you showing me those?"

He turned around; and faced another mirror.

"No..."

**"Hey Riku!"**

**"What?"**

**"There's a girl on the beach!"**

**"huh? well, what's she doin'?"**

Sora raised a hand over his head and shaded his eyes.

"**um... looks like she's just layin' there. Maybe asleep."**

**"Do you know her?"** little Riku questioned.

**"nnoooo... don't think so. She's got red hair."**

**"Well, lets go see her!"**

**"kay!"**

They ran down to the beach. Sora went to the girl, while Riku hung back.

**"Who...are you?"**

She opened her eyes.

**"Where did you come from...?"**

"No..." The older Riku turned away and ran through the mist.

Why are you running from your memories Riku?

Another mirror appeared before him.

"They're everywhere!" Riku gasped.

**"So her name is '****Kairi', huh?"**

**"Yeah. Doesn't know how she got here though."**

**"And she doesn't remember anything?"**

**"Nah."**

**"Weird, ain't it?"**

**"Yeah..."**

These mirrors are the memories of your heart, Riku. Why do you push them away?

"Shut up! Stop this!"

**"Sora! I told ya only WE were supposed to know about the secret cave! You told! It was supposed to be our secret!"** little Riku pouted.

**"Sorry Riku! Really! I just wanted to show her somethin' special!"**

**"hmph!"**

**"She won't tell! She promised!"**

**"Well she better not..."** he relented.

"That thing...the soul...My aura in the darkness was fading...it...the soul said...I'm probably dying...these memories,.. the mirrors.. Is my life 'flashing before my eyes'?"

Riku ran, head lowered. He overbalanced, and fell to the ground, skidding several feet. He lay there, unmoving, his eyes closed.

* * *

Riku: Ow...

Me: u got carpet burn?

Riku: ... something like that...

Me: aww Riku gots a booboo. want me to kiss it?

Riku: NO!


	8. Acidic truth

Me: hm. well, it's been QUITE a while, hasn't it?

Riku: Yes it has, you lazy, procrastinating, grudge-holding THING you.

Me: Nya, well, I can only work on things when im in the mood. and obviously, ive not been in the mood to write for what? six months? so, im sorry, I apologize my friends. JUST PLEASE REVIEW! not like its that hard or anything. just a click and a couple o' types on the ol' keyboard.

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

_Why? why do you run? Why do you try to escape? Are you scared? Scared to face these, your memories?_

"...no. I'm ... not scared." Riku replied in a choked voice.

_Then why?_ The voice replied harshly._ why did you run? You lie. You are scared. Afraid of your own memories._

Riku opened his eyes but didn't move.

"I... no... I'm not scared ... It's just so many... so fast."

His eyes closed wearily, and his breathing slowed.

"So long... out there. And all this so... fast. I need to rest... a break."

The voice was serious, quiet. _You can rest later Riku. You don't have time now. I have to show you something else._

Riku slowly rose to a knee, head lowered, silver hair covering his eyes.

"something else...something else... I told you I need a break."

_Get up Riku._

He stood slowly, shaking with anger. "What are you trying to do to me?" he demanded, throwing his arms back..

"I'm practically dead out there! you trying to kill me in here too!"

_No. Come on Riku, you don't have much time._

He jerked back. "What do you mean, 'not much time'?"

_Just come._

Riku followed in the direction of the voice. But this time, the mist didn't part. Riku was left to wander through it. After about five minuets, Riku became suspicious.

"Hey voice. Soul. Where's what you're gonna show me?"

silence

"Well? answer me!"

nothing

Riku looked around. Only mist. Exactly the same as when he first came. Before he saw the mirrors. Riku gritted his teeth.

"Well?...Where are you? Where is the thing you're supposed to show me?"

complete silence

"Come ON! you said you didn't have much time! Well, quit wasting it!"

Riku lowered his head, again shaking with anger.

A presence behind him.

Riku spun around, swinging his left arm. His hand connected with a cold, flat surface. He turned around, surprised.

Glass shattered, hanging in mid-air; suspended. The shards slowly drew closer. One by one they attached themselves to Riku's chest, then smoothing out as if they had never been there.

But as each shard grew into him, he felt separate sharp digging, cutting pains where his heart had been. The misty sky and the air around him gained a faint, barely noticable crimson hue.

Another burning pain aroused him from the shock. Riku looked at the hand that had shattered the glass. Blood seeped from many cuts and slashes caused by the broken glass.

"Wh...why..? I thought I couldn't be..."

Another presence. Riku glanced up warily.

A rectangular, glass shape appeared in front of him.

"It's black. But why?..."

Blood dripped to the floor beside him but he ignored it.

"Why is it black? How could anyone make a black glass? And...what's it for?"

**_To see yourself_**

A voice from inside Riku. From within.

"Who's there! Oh...so you finally decided to reappear huh 'soul?' I'm getting sick of your disappearing, ignoring me, and always expecting me to know what to do! I don't!"

_**I am not your soul Riku**_

"What! who are you then?"

_**...your hearts' voice.**_

"My what? what happened to my soul?"

**_your soul is elsewhere: you do not have much time left in this place._**

Riku stepped back "Thats... almost exactly what the soul said!"

_**yes**_

"My soul was supposed to show me something. Why did it just leave? "

_**it did show you. i am to explain what you see.**_

"..well..." Riku glanced back at the black glass. "What am I supposed to do with this thing?"

_**nothing. just look.**_

Riku stared at the black glass. A faint reflection of himself was all he saw.

"And what good does this thing do? It doesn't even act as a proper mirror. It doesn't reflect my clothes and barely shows my shape!"

_**it's not supposed to riku. look closer. and deeper.**_

"...o...kay..." Riku bent over, watching his image intently. The reflection became clearer.

cool, calculating eyes

determined, confident features

mature collected personality

_**Focus on in past the eyes. Don't run. Don't hide.**_

look past all this

Riku glared at the direction of the voice, then gazed into the eyes reflected in the black glass.

see what words cannot say

...searching...

the unspoken truth

looking for what lie beyond.

harbored within

a soft cry resounded within his mind.

the truth of the heart

his eyes widened

hidden deep in the soul

the truth. he gritted his teeth, trying to turn away, but was drawn back to look at the glass.

tear the mask of pretence

inescapable truth. Riku slumped to his knees, eyes still held fast.

stark truth unveiled

The image lost it's clarity, and Riku was released from the intense gaze.

His head fell to his chest, tears streaming down his face.

Everything he had believed of himself, snatched away in an instant

Nothing left.

Just the truth. so painful.

The chilling, biting truth.

alone

The empty, echoing feeling in the pit of his stomach.

That he was alone, he already knew, obviously.

But it was so thick. so heavy.

no one

The truth went farther. Back to Destiny Islands, childhood, ... and farther.

He was weak. Always masking himself with competitions; building himself up. Always having to be the best, never giving up.

Building layers so as to impress others.

And himself.

Displaying a false front to everyone.

And he had always thought himself a little bit better than everyone else, so as to build up his own self-esteem.

The glass tore all these lies and layers away. Leaving him vulnerable, broken, naked, ...and empty. He knew how he had turned from the glass, trying to hide the truth, trying to remain ignorant. But the glass forced him to see, to watch as the lies were stripped away.

Forced him to see himself as he really was. It was like meeting himself for the first time.

And it hurt.

It cut to the core of his being. He was not who he had thought he was.

It hurt.

* * *

Me: you get 7 yrs bad luck

Riku: why?

Me: you broke a mirror.

Soul: hey dont you think he should get more? I mean, that was a pretty big mirror...

Me: hmmmm...

Riku: hey! whos side are you on anyway!

soul: hee hee hee...


	9. Calling Spirit

Me: I'm putting these next chappies up really quickly. Might as well get em up while im in the mood.

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

_Riku._

The aqua- green pools gazed upward, tears staining his cheeks.

The soul reappeared, walking quietly. Riku slowly pushed himself to his feet.

_So Riku, what do you think? How do you like the truth?_

"...I...sou..."

His throat closed. He stumbled and the soul extended a hand as though to help him. Riku regained his balance.

He swiped his left hand across his face brushing the hair from his eyes, leaving a streak of blood on his cheek. It mingled with the tears and ran.

_What happened to your hand?_

Riku ignored the half-teasing bribe. "That mirror...you know what..happened." he replied haltingly.

Riku looked back at the glass, at the thick blackness that now reflected nothing.

_You have to accept it, you know. Its who you are._

Riku gazed at the soul as though in a trance.

"Soul..." he brought his bleeding hand to his eyes. "...Why?..I thought I...couldn't be..hurt here."

The soul rolled its eyes. _Trying to change the subject? You can't run forever, Riku. You have to face it._

"I know..and I will. But now...answer me."

The soul turned to the side.

Whatever happens to you in here, happens to your body out there. Just because you're here doesn't mean you can't be hurt.

"So..out there..my hand...?"

_Yes. Heh. so now you've added your cut hand to your injuries. If your'e not careful, you won't have much of a body left for us to save._

"why...did those glass shards go into me?...why did the sky...and mist...turn a reddish color?"

_You broke the mirror, it's shards went back to their original place: your heart. In going back, they cut your heart. But you are inside of your heart, therefore what you see, is what has happened. Now... it's time for you to go back._

"...one...one more thing..."

The soul turned its' head and focused inward, as though listening to some inner voice.

_Your time is up Riku. You must go back. Back to your body. You can't be separated for too long._

Riku took a step foreward, unsteady on his feet. "...sou...one more..."

It sighed and looked back at Riku._ Fine. What is it?_

"The glass...why was it...black?"

_A white glass would be nothing better than a mirror. A mirror only shows your exterior. A black glass draws your true self to the fore, stripping all lies away. Everyone has such a mirror inside them. Unless they search for it, they will continue to present a lie to the world, and to themself._

Riku listened, eyes closed.

_Heh. you sure seem whipped. You were so cocky earlier. Is the truth that hard to swallow?_

His eyes opened slowly. "...sh...shut up."

_So, you still have a bit of fight left in you. I'm suprised._

"you...don't change...do you?"

_Neither do you. But then, we are one, remember?_

"Quit saying...aahhh!" Riku began, then gasped, falling to his knees.

His chest and back were being shot through with searing pain. He gritted his teeth.

"..what's...happening..?"

_I told you your time here was up. Your time here anyway._

"..time?..."

_Your body, weak as it is, is calling to your spirit. That's all you are right now, you know. You are feeling what your body feels. If only you had gone when I told you..._ It shook its' head.

Riku began to feel cold and clamy. He felt so..so weak. His vision was fading.

"no...not the darkness...not again.."

_Riku, you won't be in the darkness. I've taken your body elsewhere. Somewhere safe._

"..how...where did.." Riku gritted out.

_Don't worry about that now._

an ocean of pain

the waves beating and crashing in his head

roaring in his ears

the welcome ground tilting, rising up to him

this world he was in, his 'heart', was blurry, everything fading.

All he could see was the ground, coming closer, and closer. He didn't even realize it when he was lying on the ground.

He couldn't feel anything exept pain. That and a slight tugging coming from within.

Drawing him somewhere.

But to what, or to where, it didn't matter.

nothing mattered

_Good-bye Riku._

a voice

He could barely hear or recognize it.

_Good-bye._

the words were garbled in his ears

"g...bye..?..wh.."

_I've done everything in my power to help you. Your fate now rests on your will to live._

everything dimmed

His vision began to flicker.

He struggled to understand the soft, thin voice in the back of his mind.

he was no longer in the ocean

there was a feeling of floating, of drifting away

He still felt pain, but it was a dull, throbbing pain. No longer the firey embers of before.

an endless river

flowing on...and on...

_...on your will,.. and on your friends..maybe they can help you live, truly live,... as yourself._

a thin whisper

Riku slowly opened his eyes, trying to see who spoke. Unable to see anything, he closed them. However, one eye remained slit, showing a sliver of the aqua-green iris.

and he slipped into oblivion

* * *

Me: mmm... Im hungry.

Riku: and... what do you want me to do about it?

Me: FEED ME! go get an apron its bbq time!

Riku: oh...no...O0


	10. The Island of the beginning

Me: Getting this done quick.

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

Sora heard a ripping sound and light flooded his eyes as he lay stretched out under the covers of his bed.

"...nnnh?..."

"Come on Sora, wake up. You're going to sleep the whole day away! No wonder Kairi calls you a lazy bum."

Sora's mom smiled as she raised the blinds.

"Look, the sun's out. I guess that storm stopped last night. There'll probably be some wood or shells and things washed up by the waves."

Sora rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"ahhra..." Sora stretched. "Yeah I heard it. I didn't sleep that good, it kept waking me up."

"Oh, that's why you're so tired?"

"heh. Yeah."

"Well, better hurry, Kairi's waiting downstairs."

"Oh, ok!"

Sora jumped out of bed as his mom walked out and closed the door. He threw on his clothes, made the bed and ran down to the kitchen.

"Hey, I knew you'd want to go, so I made you toast. And there's you're lunch on the counter."

"Thanks Mom. See ya!"

"Bye Sora, have a good day."

He grabbed the bag lunch and ran outside.

"Hey Kairi, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, 'bout time! You sure love to sleep, huh?"

"No that's not it! The storm kept wakin' me up!" Sora protested as Kairi laughed.

"Uh-huh, that's just an excuse!"

"Kairi..." Sora shook his head as they approached their little one-man boats tied to the main islands' dock.

They each climbed into their own boat, and as Sora was getting settled, he glanced over to the empty boat on his left. His face fell as he stared at it, deep in thought.

"Sora, are you ready? Sora?...what's wrong?"

"I wonder where he's at."

Kairi followed his gaze to the small boat.

"Oh...Sora, I'm sure he's ok. He'll come back. I know he will!"

Sora looked at her. "You think so?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

"..Ok then, lets' go."

"Ok!"

Sora took one last glance at the empty boat bobbing in the waves as he pulled away.

When they reached the beach of the neighboring island, they jumped out and tied their boats to the tiny pier. Wakka and Tidus ran over as they walked along the waters' edge.

"Hey Sora, long time no see, ya?"

"Hey Sora, where've you been! You should come here more often."

"heh. Yeah I guess." Sora grinned.

"Sora, lets have a race or somethin' , ya? Been too quiet lately!"

"um...ok."

"All right! Soon it'll be like old times, ya? I betcha someday Rik..."

"Hey, Wakka!" Kairi inturrupted quickly as Sora's eyes saddened. "Where do you want to start this race of yours at!"

After Sora had come back, both he and Kairi had never spoken Riku's name aloud. It was just too painful.

That was also why Sora didn't go to the smaller island much anymore.

"Huh?" Wakka was suprised at Kairi's tone. "um...maybe, over there..."

"You know, I don't feel like racing today, after all. I'll just watch you and Tidus." He turned and walked off.

"Wonder what's up with him?"

"Beats me." Tidus shook his head.

"Oh well. C'mon Tidus! Kairi, count us off!"

"Huh? ...oh...ok. 1...2...3...GO!"

As Wakka and Tidus ran off, Kairi turned and watched Sora sadly as he stood looking at the connected island with the single paopu fruit tree hanging over the water.

* * *

Sora: wheres Riku? (crys)

Riku: shut up you wimp. Im right here.

Me: hey thats not nice. he was just worried bout you...

Sora: yeah!

Riku: whatever. (crosses arms over chest)

Me: (drool)

Riku: ...?

Sora: heh heh heh...


	11. Wings of Dispair, Skies of hope

Me: One chappie left after this.

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

* * *

That afternoon, just before they were to leave, Sora and Kairi went to the secluded cove. 

They walked slowly, watching the waves.

"...where.." Sora whispered.

Kairi looked over at him. "You're always so sad anymore, Sora. If you're not careful, you'll get yourself depressed. I keep telling you, he'll come back."

"I can't help it, Kairi. I.. I don't like it here anymore. If we're not all together, it just seems..as if a piece is missing."

"Yeah. You two were always fighting or competing about something."

Sora gazed out at the ocean, then turned and walked up the stairs build into the island. He leaned against the back of the rip-cord tower.

"Well...what do we do now?"

"I dunno, maybe we should head back. The sun sets in about an hour."

"Yeah." Sora moved to leave, then looked back to the spot where they had helped Riku build the raft.

_looks like I'm the only one workin' on the raft_

Sora closed his eyes.

_and you! you're just as lazy as..._

"Sora!"

"Huh?" His eyes popped open. "What?"

"Look! There's a black boot over the hill!"

"...a boot?" Why was she so excited about a boot? He walked closer to the tiny cliffs edge.

There was a boot. And the boot was connected to a leg, and the leg...

"Kairi, there's a person down there! Maybe the waves washed him up."

They jumped onto the little beach below.

"Do you reconize him?"

"Dunno, let me get closer first."

Sora looked at him as he approached, scanning his memory to see if he reconized this person from any of the worlds he had traveled to.

The boy looked to be about 16 or 17 years old. He lay flat on his stomach.

There was blood staining the sand around him, mixing with the ocean waves that lapped at the black boots, turning the water a pinkish color.

His right leg was gashed open, and he wore a long black cloak that had a gaping hole on the left side. Blood welled from this hole too, trickling to the sand. His left hand was cut up also.

An aqua-green eye, barely open, was seen staring dully through the bits of dishieveled,crimson-stained silver hair.

Sora took all this in as he bent down to look at the boys' face.

_hey sora! you wanted one, didn't you?_

**An image of a star-shaped fruit flying through the air**

Sora jerked back so fast he almost fell over.

"Kairi!"

"You know who it..."

"Kairi..it...it's Riku!"

"What! oh...Oh God...It **_IS_** Riku!"

She ran over to where Sora knelt and fell, reaching out a quivering hand, brushing the silver hair from the boy's face.

His one partially open eye continued to stare straight ahead.

"Oh..Sora, ..he looks..is he dead?" She choked back a sob.

Sora stared in horrer at the sand, at Riku, then blinked as he heard Kairis' voice.

"I...I dunno, let me check."

Sora placed two fingers on the side of Rikus' neck, trying to find a pulse.

"Sora. Sora!...is he.."

"Hang on, give me a minuet!"

Kairi was beginning to get hysterical. Sora pushed slightly harder, searching for a pulse.

A gentle throb pressed against Soras fingers. After a while, another.

"He's not dead. He's alive, but just barely."

"..oh, thank you.." She whispered.

Sora looked back at Riku. "He couldn't have been washed up."

"what?"

"His hair isn't wet, and there's no salt dried on his skin."

"Yeah..you're right."

"He couldn't have been here long, either. He's still...bleeding. If he'd been here all day he would've already bled to death."

"So he's not dead, right?"

"no."

She turned and looked at Sora. "But why...is his eye open? why just one eye?"

"I think he's unconsious or something."

"Sora... can't we turn him over? He might be more confortable."

"Kairi, he can't feel anything."

"I...I know, I just..."

"Ok, help me then."

Sora took Riku's shoulder and slowly rolled him onto his back as Kairi cleared the nearby area of stones and wood.

Riku's head fell limply onto the damp sand.

Kairi gasped, tears pooling in her eyes as Sora straightned his friends' body into a more confortable-looking position.

"Sora!"

"What?"

"Look at his chest!"

Sora looked.

Sand clung to the sticky blood covering the upper left area of his cloak. But the deep, claw marked wound could still be seen through the sandy mess.

"Riku..." Sora whispered, then turned away quickly as his stomach lurched.

Kairi covered her face with her hands and cried. After a while, she rubbed her eyes and tapped Sora on the shoulder.

"Sora..did the.. the heartless did this, didn't they?"

"Probably."

"But that means they're loose again!"

"No, Kairi!"

"huh?"

"Remember? I locked Riku behind the door to Kingdom Hearts. There were heartless, I locked him in there with them! He couldn't get out,... trapped!"

He choked. His hand was in a tight fist, shoulders tense. He was being consumed by guilt.

"It's my fault he's.."

"No, Sora! No! It's NOT you're fault!" Kiari said, rather harshly.

Sora turned, suprised.

"You didn't do this to him, the heartless did! It's their fault, not your's."

"but I.."

"Don't blame yourself. Hear me?"

"...yeah."

They both looked back at Riku. The island winds blew his hair across his face. Kairi reached over to brush it from his eyes.

He was so pale.

"Is he still alive?"

Sora checked Rikus' pulse again. "Yeah, he's alive."

"Shouldn't we take him home?"

"We'd better." But neither of them moved. It was such a shock, seeing him like this.

They could see his torn chest barely rise and fall; his breath was so shallow.

Tears filled Kairis eyes again. She couldn't stand seeing Riku looking so weak and...and helpless any longer. He was dying. But he couldn't die, he couldn't!

She snapped.

Kairi held his shoulders and shook him. "Riku...Riku! c'mon, you've gotta wake up! Wake up!"

Sora grabbed her arm and pulled her away, afraid she might hurt him worse.

"Riku!" She cried, resisting Sora."Don't go! DON'T DIE!

on...and on...

the gentle, peaceful river cradled Riku

carrying him

so peaceful

so soft

shielding him from pain

a child in its mothers' embrace

someone calling

calling his name

telling him to resist the river, the river was death

but it was so peaceful

so soft

the river embraced him

the voice was urgent

_wake up_

_wake up_

_come back_

_don't go_

who was calling?

he wanted to see

but his eyes were so heavy

he couldn't

oh well

**"DON'T DIE!"**

the cry gave him strength

he opened his eyes

"Riku please,...don't die..." Kairi cried, tears streaming down her face as she leaned into Sora.

Sora conforted her as best he could, trying himself not to cry.

"Kairi...it's ok...he's not.."

She didn't seem to hear as she looked out at the ocean

The setting sun cast its beautiful rays over them. Sora closed his eyes, reminded of a similar sunset, long ago.

Riku, Sora, and Kairi had been reunited, but at what cost?

Sora opened his eyes and looked at his friend. "Riku..."

Tears ran in spite of himself.

a sigh.

Sora blinked.

Rikus breathing changed, and his halfway-open eye closed.

"Kairi!"

"wh..."

"Look; Riku..!"

They both moved closer.

Rikus' eyes flickered slightly.

Sora and Kairi held their breath.

The aqua-green eyes opened slowly.

"Riku!" Kairi cried joyously, tears once again filling her eyes.

Riku turned his head slightly, trying to locate the sound.

auburn hair... blue eyes...

"..kai...ri.."

Riku looked over to the boy beside her

"s..or..a"

"Hey Riku!" Sora grinned, smacking tears away from his cheeks.

Riku blinked sluggishly. Everything was so foggy,...he couldn't think straight.

Riku tried to roll himself over, so he could clear his head; to understand what was going on.

But the moment he flexed his body in the effort to move, it felt as though a burning-hot dagger tore through his chest and back.

Riku fell back, hissing in pain.

"Riku, no! You shouldn't move, you've been hurt!" Too late Sora tried to restrain Riku from moving.

He closed his eyes tightly, willing the pain to go away. But it didn't. He could feel the blood in his body pulse with his heartbeat. He arched slightly with the pain.

It was hard to breathe. He didn't have the energy or the strength to breathe quickly, but it hurt too bad to breath deeply.

As he lay there, he began to have flashbacks of the last time he was consious.

a misty land

a silver door

He opened his eyes.

mirrors everywhere

the black glass

the black glass...

The flashbacks faded as the sky came back into focus.

He remembered.

Everything was a lie.

everything

How could he face anyone? How could he face... them? His two best friends. The ones who mattered most to him.

It felt as though they could see right through him. Could see his lie.

He was so ashamed.

He tried to turn his head, to turn away, but found he couldn't even move. He had already used up what little strength he had.

He closed his eyes, tears slipping under the lids.

Riku felt himself go limp.

He hurt so bad; burning, throbbing. He longed for the river. The never-ending river that would wash all pain away.

Riku gasped weakly. So hard to breathe.

Drifting away again, little by little.

"Riku it'll be ok! We'll take you home!"

"Don't worry buddy!"

Riku could sence them moving closer, leaning over him.

He wished for the river, the embracing river, but he didn't want to be separated from his friends again. Not after so long.

The choice wasn't his though. He was slowly losing touch with reality again.

"Sora...he's..."

"I think he's unconsious again Kairi, we better get him home quick!"

"I'll go get the boats."

Sora

Kairi

His friends

They were back together again

Home

But they didn't know

Could they forgive him?

He felt so dirty

a lie...

"Sora, here they are!"

"Ok, help me."

"Yes, I'm coming."

He felt himself being lifted, gentle hands supporting his head and back; careful of his torn body.

Then blessed nothingness

* * *

Riku: uuuhhhhh... 

Me: whats wrong?

Riku: after all you put me through, you DARE ask whats wrong?

Me: ... hee hee hee...(sweat drop)

Me: oh, and btw, If you've noticed, when you look at a glass with a black or dark-based background, you can see yourself. Or rather, a reflection. A very faint one, true, but... It seems as though you can see thru yourself. A good experiment would be to look out of the car window at night.


	12. Epolouge

Me: Welly Welly well then. Finally, after literally FOREVER... I present to you, the last chap. HA! And now, enjoy the ending of my terrible first fanfiction.

Disclaimer:I dont own kingdom heart or its characters

suggested music: Koe. Not sure if it's from Fatal Frame, or Silent Hill. Savi-chan would KILL me for that. XD

* * *

Riku sat on the sand at the base of the paopu fruit tree. The island winds teased his hair as he tilted his head back.

He was home again, after so long. Free from the darkness of behind Kingdom Hearts.

Riku leaned over to rest on the trunk. He winced as the bark pressed into his back. He had to remember to be careful, Kairi's voice echoed back to him.

She had let him go outside only three days ago. She was always following him, telling him to be careful: he mustn't over-exert himself.

It had been almost two months now. Riku remembered drifting between waking and foggy sleep. Feeling so weak, with moments of searing pain.Then, staying awake for longer and longer periods of time.

But after a while, he felt a little stronger, and Kairi let him sit up some.

Sora would come over and they might watch t.v. But most of the time, they would just sit there, doing nothing.

Sora seemed to realize Riku didn't want to talk, but still wanted him there.

Even so, sometimes Riku wanted to be alone. That's what he was doing here on his island. Still... sometimes he couldn't bear to be around anyone.

The truth chased him by day, and haunted him by night.

He didn't want to lie to them anymore, but how could he tell them?

Riku had snuck out this morning. It had taken a while, and it had hurt, but he had managed to row over to the small islands.

Now he was on his island, feeling the breeze play with his hair.

They had had to bury the black cloak. It had been shreded to ribbons in places, and there were blood stains all over it. It couldn't be repaired.

Riku didn't want it in any case.

He glanced down at his current outfit.

He had baggy, dark blue jeans on. There were thick bandages wrapped around his chest, upper back and leg.

He wore an over-sized yellow polo shirt. The bandages were so bulky, it was difficult to button the shirt properly and it still be comfortable, even though it was too big. So he left it unbuttoned.

Every now and then, he would still feel twinges of pain. And sometimes, if he turned the wrong way, it felt like a knife were going through him; he would be left gasping.

The wounds the heartless gave him were taking so long to heal.

Riku sighed as he glanced over at the distant mainland.

_you have to accept it..._

Yes... he had to accept the truth. But what about... them?

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sora raised his arms over his head, stretching, as he walked over to Kairi.

" Ahhrh... Hey Kairi, what's up?"

"Hi, Sora." She replied in a distracted tone.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Riku. He's gone."

"Gone! what do you mean?"

"He wasn't in his room. And his boat is gone."

Sora walked over to the dock. Kairi was right. A boat was missing.

"well... he probably just went to the other islands."

"Yeah, I thought so too. But..."

"But what?"

She looked at him.

"Sora... his injuries havn't really healed yet. He shouldn't be out of bed yet, much less rowing!"

"Well..."

Kairi sat down on the sand.

"He's... so quiet now. He hardly ever speaks, and he won't even look me in the eye. He used to be so fun, and competitive. Now he seems so... sad."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

Kairi pressed her hand into the sand, making a handprint. She raised her hand, watching the sand trickle back down into the hole.

"Why is it taking so long for his injuries to close? I mean, I know they were really deep, but why is it taking such a long time?"

" ...they're heartless wounds."

"Wh... what do you mean, Sora?"

He shook his head to get the spiky brown hair out of his eyes.

"If a person attacked by a heartless lives; depending on how badly they were hurt, it takes a long time for them to heal. And you're right; he does seem depressed. That can't be helping any."

"Yeah. He still shouldn't have rowed out there. Anyway, how's he supossed to get back? He might re-open his wounds!"

"It'll be fine, Kairi, I'll go get him."

"O.k." She smiled. "And when you get him back, we'll have to keep him still so he can heal."

"Yeah."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Riku felt something tickle his nose. He gently swatted at it and opened his eyes. His long hair had fallen over his face and the wind was blowing, causing the tickling.

He had dozed off, tired even though the trip had been short.

Riku yawned. He should probably be getting back, they'ed be wondering were he was. But it would take a while. It was hard to row. It hurt.

But sometimes he just had to be alone.

Riku heard the snapping of a twig and glanced back.

"Hey Riku, there you are!" Sora grinned.

Riku held the trunk for support as he slowly rose to his knees.

"No no, don't move, I'll sit." Sora flopped down on the sand, in and exhaling slowly.

Riku sank back down.

They watched as the sun went behind a cloud.

"So, what are you doing here all by yourself, Riku? Kairi or I would have come with you, ya know."

"...yeah."

"You shouldn't be doing stuff like rowing yet. Actually, you shouldn't even be out of bed. You'll won't heal anytime soon if you keep this up."

Riku gave a heavy sigh, then winced: that hurt. Maybe they were right.

"Hey Riku?"

"...what?"

"If you wanna talk sometime, I'll listen.."

Riku's eyes widened.

...the truth...

"Kairi and I are both worried about you.."

...your friends...

"So if you ever have anything to say..."

...accept...

"we'll listen."

"sor...sora..."

"Yeah?"

silence. Sora looked over at Riku.

"Um..Riku, you o.k.?"

He seemed striken, his spirit broken. A tear fell from his face, making a small dark circle on the sand.

"Riku? ...whats' wrong?" Sora questioned as he sat up.

"..a...lie."

"huh?"

"all..a lie. I'm a...lie."

"What do you mean Riku?"

"all my life, everything I am...a lie."

"huh? but... that can't be right, you're not a lie; we grew up together..I remember..."

"..I lied..about who I am. I thought I was ...better, stronger. Who you grew up with, who everyone knows...that's not really me."

"What do you mean? Who else could you be?"

"I built up pretendings, making you think that's ... who I really was. I hid my true self away... under a mask; a veil. You don't know who I really am...inside. I am a... lie."

"It's o.k. Riku, you..."

"No It's ...not o.k. I... i'm a fake.. a lie! I... hate myself!"

"No Riku, Don't talk like that! You're our friend! And you should be careful; you'll hurt yourself!"

'No, Sora! I...!"

"Riku, I don't understand! What can I do? What do you want me to do?"

"Hate me!"

"What? Riku, I can't.."

"Sora, I lied! My whole life...I lied! I decieved you all!"

Riku, disregarding his barely healed injuries, jumped up and threw his arms back.

"Don't you get it, Sora! You should hate me! Always, I... ungh..."

Riku keeled over, clutching his chest. Kairi darted out from behind bushes and caught him, breaking his fall, and lowered him to the ground.

"Kairi! when did you get here!"

"You were taking a long time, so I came too. And don't worry, I heard everything. He's gone and over-done it."

"Kai...ri..." Riku gasped, trying to stay upright.

"Riku you need to lay down; you've re-opened your wounds, look you're bleeding!"

He looked down: she was right. Blood was splattered on the white cloth bandage. Riku griminced in pain.

His shoulders sagged. At least they knew. But now they would hate him. Oh well. He had told them to. He deserved it.

"I'm..sorry..." He whispered.

"What for, Riku!"Sora asked, suprised.

"I..lied..."

"Riku.. we've all lied at one time or another..." Kairi tried.

"no..."

"Why won't you forgive yourself? You'll give yourself a relapse if your not careful, you know."

Riku didn't answer. He eyes were heavy; he closed them. It felt like he were having a relapse. Pain gripped him in a cruel spasm. His chest was throbbing, burning, and he felt so tired.

"Riku...Riku look at me."

He opened his eyes and raised up slowly.

Sora

"It's o.k. Your'e still our friend even if you lied to us."

"...always. I told you I was someone...I wasn't..." He fell back.

"...well, we all pretend to be someone else sometimes, I guess. We don't always let eveyone know the truth about ourselves. I guess that's our right."

"That's right, Riku." Kairi agreed. "We don't have to tell everyone everything."

Riku didn't answer. It was kind of hard to understand. Everything was some-what foggy.

"Sora, do you think something happened to him um... wherever he was? He doesn't seem to be able to forgive himself..." Kairi whispered to Sora.

"I dunno. Must have."

"So this was what was wrong with him..."

"Huh?"

"Remember? he was so sad.. and quiet before. You must have said something to him that helped him talk."

"Oh...yeah."

"Riku.." Kairi bent down to him. "It really is o.k. You're our friend. Everyone pretends to be someone or something they're not at some time. But if you want us to, we forgive you. Right, Sora?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"...s..ora...kai...ri..." It took a while, but he finally understood what they were saying. For the first time in months, he felt the weight lift off his shoulders. They were still his friends...they forgave him...

"Now don't you keep berading yourself 'kay? When your wounds have all healed, you and Sora can get back to racing, sword fighting, competing..."

"Heh..I don't think he hears you, Kairi." Sora smirked.

"Huh?" She looked closer at Riku.

He was fast asleep; borne away on the sweet wings of rest, that of which he hadn't truly had, while he was being consumed by his own unforgiving guilt.

* * *

Riku: ugh! FINALLY its done! no more tourture!

Me: ...

Riku: um... right? theres not gonna be a sequal is there? IS THERE!

Me: no not to this one.

Riku: (whew)

Me: but there will be other stories... heh heh heh...

Sora: better watch out Riku..

Soul: yeah...

Hearts voice: mm hmm who knows what she'll do.

Me: mua hahaha.

Riku: o0 stay away. stay far away.

Me: RIKU! (glomp)


End file.
